Completely Unhinged

As a kid I had a temper. Yes. I had a temper. But, it wasn't people who used to make me angry. No. It was inanimate objects. If something did not fit in a spot it was supposed to, or if it wouldn't do exactly what I wanted it to do, I would eventually go all "HULK SMASH" on something and beat the crap out of it. I did this with a little red wagon once. I believe I yelled at it- which in hindsight was the stupidest thing to do because, HEY!, it isn't like it is going to yell back at you or have any reaction to your angry outburst because...well...it's inanimate. It doesn't have feelings. But when you are angry you just have to vent...or smash something. I remember yelling stupidly at my roller skates once because my shoe didn't fit into it. You remember those kind, rigth? The ones that you strapped on to your tennis shoes? Yes well, obviously my feet got too big for them and instead of unscrewed them and extending the length, I decided to start yelling and slamming them on the ground. Big Sister Amy smacked me in the back of the head in disgust and grabbed the offended toy, extended them to fit my shoe, handed it back to me and said (rather sarcastically and deservedly so) "There..isn't that better?!?!" and skated off in a huff. It was at that point that my nine-year-old self stepped back and took a good long look at myself. What the heck is the matter with you!?!? I asked myself. I'm not sure. I replied. Well, here is an idea...calm down and think! Ok. I decided that my inner voice was right and also kind of mean, but I did deserve it. As I grew older I would still have moments when I would go completely unhinged- like when the lawn mower wouldn't start and just shoved it back into the garage and it hit the workbench and bent the wheel (I had to explain that to Dad- that was not fun), or when I couldn't get my locker door open and I punched it and damn near broke a knuckle, or when I locked my keys in my car in the biggest damn storm of the year and ended up denting the side of my car because I was stupidly angry. Now that I am older, I have realized how fruitless and useles it is to lose your temper over objects. Although, every once in a great while the She-Hulk rears her ugly head and makes an appearance. My husband stands back and lets me go and when I am deflated from the energy that it takes out of me, he says in a very snarky tone, "All done? Do you feel better now?" Funny...but that is the same thing I got from my Mom and Big Sister growing up...sometimes you just never learn...